I guess I used to be like most people and absolutely hated public speaking. When I was very young, like primary school age, I always did well at the speeches, spelling competitions and public reading. However as I became an adolescent and a teenager I grew more aware of what other people thought of me, and hence embarrassed when speaking in public. I was a dancer for over 20 years and could perform and on stage, baring my soul through movement in front of hundreds of people, and on TV, but speaking was totally different.
When I got married at 30, my then husband and I started our self-defense business. We'd both had very violent upbringings, and wanted to help prevent violence against women and men. But given my history of sexual assault I was particularly passionate about preventing violence against women, especially sexual and domestic violence, both of which I've experienced first-hand. And also to help those who have already been through it to rebuild their lives, start to move on, and make damn sure it never happened again!
Because I was so knowledgeable about the subject and passionate about making a difference, I found myself teaching eight and nine hour seminars to groups of over 40 women, police officers, martial artists, schools, corporates, even armed offenders squads! I'm not going to lie, during the drive to the venue and first five minutes of speaking, I was always nervous. But once I realised that the women I was speaking to were real people, with real pasts, real fears and they were looking to me for help, it became not about me, and to feel nervous and self interested was a selfish thing.
Women are lied to daily, told "don't fight back, it will only make him angry", "hold keys between your fingers", "scream fire", "learn a martial art", "rapists are the strangers in dark alley, not your boss, boyfriend, uncle...." and so much more b*llshit (sorry, I'm very passionate) and dispelling the myths and teaching the reality was so important to me. I had a passion and a purpose and I wanted to give life saving information and skills to these people.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you have a purpose and a passion for what you're talking about and you really want to get that information across to people, the nerves will fade into oblivion. I wrote a book, had articles published and appeared on TV, but there's nothing more effective than the spoken word. In person demonstrations and public speaking was imperative to fulfil my purpose in life.
1 comment:
Hey Athena!
Great Post! I agree with you that while you're in your adolescent years you tend to think more about what others think of you. I mean it is your raw opinion you are putting in order to get through those hurdles. I am sorry to hear that you had to experience domestic and sexual assault but it is bravery that always leads a person to become fearless. Good on you! From the very beginning, we are taught these things don't exist amongst our loved ones but it is actions we take that help overcome these situations.
I believe that we should always give respect in return of the respect we are given, but take a stand for something that doesn't feel good. Nz has the highest rates in domestic violence so it's good to speak out. I agree with the last paragraph as well that if you have a purpose and passion nothing can come in your way. You are tremendously changing people's perspective in a positive manner. Well done ! "we are the change we seek"
Post a Comment